So today was a very crappy day for me, my car was busted, I didn’t find a parking space, work was awful, my head was completely in another place and made a manifold of mistakes. I felt like quitting everything and crawling back in to my dark place. Time just seemed to run so slow today, but finally the day came to an end. During work hours, one of my friends was speaking to me about going in to a tattoo parlor and give some support to another friend who was getting one.
I’ve been contemplating getting a tattoo for around a year now. I’ve contemplated it before, but not as much as I did now, plus I didn’t know what I was going to get back then. I researched meanings, positioning, tattoo care, techniques and colouring. After all that pondering and contemplating I made, I finally reached the conclusion of what type of tattoo I’d want. I chose a simple small heart on my left wrist.
Simple and small: expressing my simplicity, not needing much, not wanting to be ostentatious.
Heart: self love and care. No one should be more concerned for myself other than me. Therefore I should love myself unconditionally.
Left wrist: following the imaginary line of the ring finger. Portraying a connection to my heart.
I don’t believe in getting tattoos just because it’s fun. I don’t believe in getting tattoos without a personal meaning under it. If it doesn’t meet any of this requirements, it’s a waste of a precious canvas: my skin. A tattoo is a permanent reminder of something that can be either beautiful or something awful.
To avoid any feelings of repent, I researched “Things to do before getting a tattoo”. One of the guidelines I found stated “A tattoo is a permanent scar on your skin. In order to be completely sure you want this, draw your design on a piece of paper and paste it somewhere you can see it everyday, all the time. This way, if you ever get tired of it, you’ll know you really don’t want it and no harm done”. So I started conducting this experiment on myself; everyday, for months, I drew my little heart on my wrist. I never got tired of looking at it. It just made me smile. And it indeed remind me of the things that I should be thinking of myself.
And well, this is how I got my first tattoo. My simple small heart, a self love reminder, so that I always know that no one can undermine me without my own consent. That I should always love myself. My own personal way of demonstrating myself some love.
My little heart ❤
One that I won’t be having to draw on every day anymore.